The woman is unhappy with her partner’s solo habits (Picture: Getty Images)
Some people prefer to steer clear of sex during their period, while others find it makes them hornier than usual and want to pack in the orgasms to relieve their cramps.
This woman, however, has some feelings about what her partner gets up to while she’s menstruating, and it’s causing frustration in their relationship.
On Mumsnet, the 39-year-old sought advice over whether her viewpoint was unreasonable, saying she’d ‘been thinking of posting this for ages’ and was ‘finally biting the bullet.’
‘Am I being unreasonable to ask my husband not to relieve himself (masturbate) when I am on my monthly cycle and to come to me/ask me if he needs a “release” during this time?’ she asked.
Commenters pushed her for more details, unable to understand why his habits affected her.
‘He knows it makes me feel a failure if he needs to do it himself (plus I know he would watch porn to do it),’ replied the woman.
She prefers him to ‘come to’ her instead of masturbating (Picture: Getty Images)
Further explaining her position, she continued: ‘My last partner cheated on me throughout our relationship
‘What can I do or say? Ask him to jerk off but not to porn? He will use porn to jerk off to even if he says he won’t (I believe) so that’s why I asked him to ask me.’
It appeared as though the woman’s problem was not specifically with him masturbating but with his porn use, as well as her belief he was being dishonest about watching it.
Yet despite the issue being more complicated than it first appeared, many still believed her request was unreasonable.
‘If my partner tried to control how and when I masturbate I’d leave him,’ said one user, while another added: ‘Why do you even care? So he might use porn. So what? Give yourself (and him) a break from trying to micromanage him.’
A third wrote: ‘You could look at this as him being thoughtful. He recognises that you might have period pains, feel grouchy and don’t want to deal with his sexual feelings at that time. So he masturbates, rather than be a pest. As long as he’s not doing it in front of you, I don’t see it as an issue.’
Others felt differently, including one person who said: ‘If you want to offer your partner a sexual act with you as an alternative to his DIY, by all means do so. He may decline, which is obviously his right. But no harm in the suggestion.
‘As for porn, it’s entirely reasonable not to want a partner who uses it due to the ethical issues so that’s another conversation.’
Another added: ‘It is reasonable if you don’t want him to get himself off to porn and he should respect that if your relationship is monogamous and masturbate without it.
Some also – since the original poster later confirmed she doesn’t masturbate – suggested she give it a go herself. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander after all.
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