Are you looking to get back out there? Are you trying to get back on the dating season after a long relationship, or are you just feeling nervous after a long line of failed first dates?
Well, there’s no reason to worry. There are some pretty easy steps you can take to get your mojo back when it comes to dating. Let’s go through the top advice for how to start dating again.
1. Get Closure
First, you should make sure you’re not lingering in the past. That will just make your future dating ventures a waste of your time and your date’s time.
If you’re just coming out of a breakup, you should take your time to make sure you’ve truly gotten over your previous partner. If it’s been a while and things are lingering, you still need to examine what things are holding you up.
Here’s one great sign you may not be ready: If you have the urge to bring up your ex-partner several times on a first date, you may not be ready to rejoin the dating world just yet.
If you’re having trouble, you can always reach out to a mental health professional like a counselor for a little extra help!
2. Know What You’re Looking for in the Dating World
It’s important to know what you’re looking for in a relationship before you get on the market.
This goes for what type of relationship you’re looking for, too. If you’re looking for something casual, you’ll want to go about dating in a different way than if you’re looking for a serious, long-term commitment. It’s okay if you don’t know exactly what you want, too — most people don’t!
But, it’s important to be honest about what you think, so that everyone can be on the same page while you go on your dating journey.
3. Try Different Avenues for Dating
There are so many different ways people can meet in today’s world, so why not spread your wings?
You can try meeting people in public places or different community associations. If you’re a big fan of playing sports, you can join any number of recreational sports leagues. Start volunteering at a local soup kitchen or another organization, so you can meet people who also care about giving back to your community.
If you’re interested in trying to learn a new skill or hobby, why not sign up for a local class? You can try out cooking, knitting, coding, or creative writing classes. You could even sign up to learn a new language! For people in a specific industry, head out to one of the many networking events that are likely to be offered in your area.
For people who have dogs or other pets that are up for a stroll, meeting people can be a breeze. Simply head over to your local dog park, and you’re sure to meet tons of interesting people — plus, you’re likely to have at least one thing in common!
If you’re more of a cat person, many cities are now home to amazing cat cafes. If you’re looking for something a little more exotic, check out your local zoo, aquarium, or museum of natural history.
And of course, there are always the local standards. Head out to one of your favorite bars, clubs, or coffee shops, and see if there’s anyone around that catches your eye!
Meeting People Online
Trying to meet potential love interests in person isn’t your only option. You can experiment with one of the many apps and websites out there on the market. Online dating used to be stigmatized, but now it’s one of the most common ways people meet each other.
There are general ones that anyone can use, and specialized ones for specific interests you might have. You can stick with the usual route of Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Raya, and the like. If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you’ll probably also want to check out Grindr, Scruff, Lex, Scissr, and Her.
If you’re looking for a partner in line with your own religion, there are options out there for you as well. Christian Mingle and JDate are the best-known options, but that’s not all there is. JSwipe, Shaadi.com, Muzmatch, Mutual, Muslima, Salt, Single Muslim, dharmaMatch, Athiest Passions,
If you’re a sober person, you can check out Loosid or Sober. Love astrology? Head over to NuIT. Need your partner to love cats as much as you do? Make sure you download Tabby. If you’re more of a dog person, head over to Dig instead.
And, if you’d rather take a really old-school approach, you can always check out OkCupid or Match.com for your dating needs.
These are just some of the many, many niche apps and websites out there. Ask around, or type your interests into a search engine, and you’re sure to come up with the perfect place for your dating needs.
4. Take It Slow When You’re Starting Out
You don’t need to go from zero to one hundred in five seconds. It can be scary to stick a toe in the dating pond! Try starting with just one date per week, so you can get used to going on dates again.
And, you don’t need to be forcing yourself into a relationship right away, either. Take your time, meet plenty of people, and get to know them before you try and take the next step.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go for it if it feels right — but, it’s important not to force it. Sometimes, it’s best to just let things go and to just go with the flow. So, bite your tongue, and jump off a cliff!
5. Be Your Best Self
To date properly, you need to have as much self-esteem as possible. Having high self-esteem gives you more confidence. And, having more confidence makes you more attractive to people you may be dating.
If you’re having trouble believing in yourself, there are a number of steps you can take to try and boost yourself up.
If you’re worried about your appearance, try going out for a nice haircut or splurge on a new wardrobe. If you just don’t feel great, here are some other strategies you may be able to try:
- Talk to one of your friends
- Start exercising
- Meditate
- Begin a gratitude journal
- Try and start eating healthier
- Forgive yourself
- Be assertive about your beliefs, and don’t back down
- Look into mindfulness and breathing exercises
- If all else fails, go with the classic adage: fake it until you make it
Of course, your self-esteem may not be the roadblock you’re having when it comes to being your best self.
If you’re nervous about taking things to the next level, you can try out a Viril Supplement to help boost your performance along with your self-esteem.
6. If at First, You Don’t Succeed, Try and Try Again
It can be easy to discourage when dating isn’t going well. Rejection and getting ghosted can really hurt a person’s self-confidence.
But, it’s important to keep trying. Put yourself out there, and try not to take anything too personally. It’s not personal, after all. Sometimes, people are just having a bad day, or your personalities don’t mesh, or a thousand other reasons. So, remember that it’s not about you, and keep putting yourself out there.
If you’re having trouble, take a deep breath, smile, and remember all of the great things you have in your life. Talk to friends and family members who love you and care about you. Your love life doesn’t define you — it’s just a part of the many things that make you great!
7. Ask for Help From Your Circle
Entering the dating world can be overwhelming. But that’s why you ask your friends can help! Your friends can be your wing people on this new adventure. They can give you advice, vet your online dating profiles, and so much more.
There are dating apps, like Ship, that will let even your taken friends make accounts to help find matches for you when you’re not all clustered over your phone.
Your friends are the best people to help you be your best self while trying to rejoin the dating world.
Your friends may even have people in mind to set you up with. They know you best, after all!
8. Don’t Fall Into the Same Old Patterns
No matter what your dating pattern is, you should try new things when you go back out on the market. For example, if you’re a serial monogamist, try keeping things casual with a few different people. If you tend to get bored quickly, try and hang in there for a little bit longer.
Of course, it’s important not to do anything that makes you feel very uncomfortable. But, sometimes you don’t know you’ll enjoy something or feel better about a different process until you try it out. That’s why it’s important to keep trying new things and leave your comfort zone.
Patterns go for things you do on dates, not just how you date, as well. Try and plan your dates for places you wouldn’t normally think to go to. While you’re on your date, if you find yourself talking too much, take a breath and ask your date questions about themselves or their interests.
Breaking these patterns won’t just give you a happier dating life, but they’ll also help you be happier and try new things. So, you’ll be expanding other parts of your life while you date!
9. Be Honest and Vulnerable
You don’t have to blurt out everything about yourself on the first date, but it’s important to be honest about what you’re looking for from dating in a relationship.
If you have “hard no’s” or other things a partner (or a friend) should know about, try and bring them up at organic moments. This will make the person (or people) you’re seeing feel more comfortable about being open about their wants and needs.
And this way, you’ll be able to know each other at more than just a surface-level. Honesty is a two-way street, so if you feel uncomfortable with something in the dating process make sure to speak out about it. The people you’re dating probably have things they’re not wild about, too!
However, you don’t want to go too far in the other direction. Don’t overshare and blurt out the darkest, deepest secrets in your life right off the bat. And, you shouldn’t ramble on and on about every thought you’re having.
Dating should be a give and take, and you should make sure you’re listening and responding as well as sharing your feelings and interests.
10. Have Fun
If you’re finding dating a drag, if you’re forcing yourself to get through dates or scroll through the apps, and you’re just not enjoying yourself, it’s time to take a break. You may not be ready, or you may be taking the wrong approach.
Of course, just because you’re taking a break from the dating scene doesn’t mean it’s okay to shut yourself in at home. Make virtual or in-person plans with your friends, go out to events, and start out new hobbies. Who knows, you may find the person you’re waiting for right under your nose!
How to Start Dating Again? Jump Right In
Ultimately, you need to have confidence in yourself to truly answer the question, “how to start dating again?”. If you know what you want, you respect boundaries, and you keep trying, you’re sure to succeed.
Are you looking for more tips on dating, relationships, and similar topics? Be sure to check out some of the other articles on this blog today.
