A 26-YEAR-OLD woman has been labeled toxic after revealing that she’s secretly been dating her friend’s ex-husband.
She explained that her friend divorced Charles, 32, three years ago and “desperately” wants to rekindle the relationship despite their “messy” separation.
An anonymous woman has asked for advice after secretly dating her friend’s ex-husbandCredit: Getty
The woman said she started dating Charles after being transferred to his department at work and chose not to tell him that she was friends with his ex-wife Kate, 29.
She penned a lengthy post on Reddit explaining that she became close friends with Kate after they started working together.
The woman wrote: “Kate has a few issues so I am one of her few friends.
“A lot of conversations with Kate revolve around her ex-husband, ‘Charles’ [32M]. They divorced three years ago and she’s still properly obsessed with him.
“She desperately wants him back and has spent these last three years basically just stalking him.
“Their divorce was really messy (and according to both Kate and Charles, the divorce was her fault).
“She wants a second chance and believes that she can do better, but Charles wants nothing to do with her.
“She was apparently very toxic and obsessive, very controlling and manipulative.
“As soon as the divorce was finalized, Charles made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her and blocked her.”
She said Kate vents about her heartbreak whenever they go drinking together and has admitted to making fake social media accounts to follow her ex-husband.
The woman claimed to have never seen any photos of Kate’s ex-husband and that she was unaware he worked at the same company before they met.
She continued: “I ended up being transferred to his department and we really hit it off. He is very kind and handsome.
“Though, where I may be the AH [a**hole] was that I found out after a month or so of knowing him that he was Kate’s ex (another co-worker mentioned it to me).
“I did not tell Kate that I was talking to her ex, and I also did not tell her husband that I was friends with Kate.
“(Possibly another AH [a**hole] move, because according to the same co-worker, Charles doesn’t like to associate with anyone who knows Kate… she has apparently sent people in the past to ‘befriend’ him to find out stuff about him).
“Anyways I found myself falling for him, and apparently, the feeling was mutual, and we started dating about three months after knowing each other.
“I really think that he is my soulmate — he’s everything that I’ve ever wanted in a man, he’s very sweet and compassionate, amongst other things.
“I felt a bit guilty initially because I knew that Kate was hung up on him still, but I feel like it’s been three years and Kate should move on… and that Charles deserves a chance to move on too.”
The woman revealed that she now fears for her safety because Kate found out about the romance and has made threats.
She explained: “I made the mistake of not telling Charles, and he found out through Kate contacting him from one of her fake accounts.
“She was saying all these lies about me basically to try to get him to break up with me and calling me a terrible friend and saying stuff about how he shouldn’t want to be with someone as dishonest as me.
“Charles was upset when he found out about my association with Kate.
“Which is understandable, because I knew that he didn’t like to be associated with people who knew her, but I thought it would be okay.
“He hasn’t really been talking to me recently, and I feel really bad for upsetting him.”
The woman argued that it shouldn’t matter that she’s friends with Kate because she hasn’t been sharing anything that they’ve discussed.
“AITAH [am I the a**hole]?” she asked.
The thread was flooded with comments telling the woman that her behavior was wrong and that Charles was unlikely to forgive her.
One commented: “YTA [you are the a**hole] for lying and causing completely unnecessary drama between two people who really really don’t need it anymore.
“On top of that, I don’t understand why you would intentionally put yourself in the middle of that situation. It was never going to end well.
“Good luck ever removing Kate from your life. She is going to obsess over you for years now as well.
“And Charles, well, I don’t see him forgiving you for this.
“He just wanted peace and you brought tons of toxic drama back into his life.”
Another wrote: “You are a snake of a person. Yta [you are the a**hole]. They both need to block you. So toxic.”
A third said: “YTA [you are the a**hole. Lies by omission are just lies, and this was deeply manipulative of you.
“You withheld the info for a reason. Be accountable for your choices and for the way your choices make others feel.
“Hard to build anything real on a dishonest foundation, ‘soulmate’ or not. Soulmates shouldn’t deceive each other like this.
“I don’t even know if your assessment of your friend or her behavior can be taken seriously given your propensity for leaving s**t out.”
A fourth chimed in: “You’re not necessarily wrong, but I personally wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who was dating my ex, especially my ex-husband.”
Another added: “YTA [you are the a**hole]. You are so messy and have the nerve to act all innocent as if you didn’t lie to both of them.
“You know she is crazy and you know he doesn’t like anyone associated with her but you just went along like you didn’t know.
“Now it’s coming back to bite you. That’s what you get.”
Reddit users argued the woman was ‘wrong’ to keep secrets and said it’s unlikely the man would forgive herCredit: Getty
