How to Make Your Date Comfortable Enough to Open Up on a First Date

It can be difficult to get to the point where someone is ready to open up on a first date. If you can be authentically yourself and relax with your date, you have more chance of someone opening up to you. If you come on too strong or appear very tense or stressed, you could cause your date to close up rather than open up. Your date will only feel comfortable enough to open up to you if they feel it’s emotionally safe to do so. Here are some tips to help you to get your date to open up on the first date. 

Don’t stress too much

If you’re tense and stressed, your date will find it difficult to relax. A bit of anxiety is perfectly normal, and you shouldn’t worry about this. Try to relax and be yourself because the more you can manage this, the more comfortable your date is likely to be too. If you admit that you’re nervous, your honesty is likely to be appealing, and your date will probably admit to feeling nervous too. When you choose the location, it can help to pick somewhere public. Your date is likely to feel more secure and comfortable than if you choose a private location. 

If none of these ideas make you feel relaxed and you keep feeling jittery about dating someone and meeting them, you can try some other source of entertainment. The most trending thing is the VR games, which people find much more relaxing than spending time on dating sites and planning a meeting. Your preference may be to play the best free VR games. If this is an environment you’re familiar with, it may relax you rather than stress you out. If you are tired of the regular adult videos, the perfect thing to try is these VR porn games. They are a highly evolved version of the traditional content that you are used to watching or streaming and this is why, they offer a more immersive form of enjoyment.

Stick to non-intrusive questions

Ask questions to which your date can say, “and what about you?” so it’s not just a one-sided interrogation. A conversation should always be two-way. You can tell your date about yourself, but don’t make it all about you. It’s best to avoid sensitive topics like money or sex, and discussing past relationships is another unsuitable topic for a first date. Stick to asking questions about the person’s favorite food, movies, hobbies etc., to help establish a connection without getting too personal too quickly. Prying can quickly make someone pull away. You don’t want someone to feel judged or in the hot seat. 

Use your listening skills

When you ask questions, listen to understand and don’t start thinking about what you will answer. The most important part of listening is showing empathy. You need to verbally acknowledge someone’s feelings. When a date realizes that you’re genuinely interested in hearing what they have to say, it goes a long way. Getting clarification or asking thoughtful questions can lead to a deeper conversation. Ignoring any distractions and focusing on your date will show you’re invested and make the person feel valued.

Show sharing and self-disclosure

Don’t hijack the conversation and make it all about you, but some self-disclosure can lead to the other person opening up. If you show that you’re vulnerable and open, it will be hard for your date to remain closed up and dismissive. 

Watch your body language

Non-verbal cues can help someone to open up. Making eye contact, smiling, and having a warm tone of voice are all things you need to keep in mind. Your date may sense you aren’t saying what you really mean if your body language is off. Your body language can build trust and help someone to feel more secure or have the opposite effect. If you keep your arms folded and don’t smile, it will be harder for someone to feel comfortable opening up to you. 

Don’t get too touchy

Respect someone’s boundaries and be mindful of being too touchy on a first date. Overdoing the touching can put someone off instead of making them feel comfortable. There is nothing that will make someone back off more quickly than is someone is too forward and invades their body space before they’re ready for this type of intimacy. Taking a hand to help your date out of the car and these sorts of gestures don’t fall into this category. Trying to snatch a kiss without asking first can put someone off on a first date unless the person makes it obvious that it’s okay. 

Be true to yourself

Dating can be very competitive but measuring yourself against others is unhealthy. Your first date should be about getting to know someone and seeing if there is a spark. It has nothing to do with anyone else. If you’re not being yourself, it will be very difficult to keep it up. If your date senses that you’re not being authentic or true to yourself, it is unlikely that the person will open up to you. Only when someone sees your true side, they feel confident enough to be truthful and open with you too. Once someone has opened up to you, acknowledge what they have shared and thank them for trusting you with the information.