- Actor Terry Crews said his friends were jealous of his marriage and they encouraged him to be single.
- Experts say it’s not uncommon: friends’ jealousy can come in many forms and can be hard to confront.
- A jealous friend may make disrespectful comments or try to break up your relationship.
- Visit Insider’s homepage for more stories.
When you’re in love, it’s natural for you to radiate happiness and talk about your partner a lot, said Rachel Sussman, a New York City-based relationship expert.
But your friends might not be so thrilled.
Actor, bodybuilder, and former professional football player Terry Crews recently spoke about how his friends encouraged him to join the single life when he and his wife were at a low point in their marriage, and he put it down to jealousy.
“There are certain people in my life who are always jealous of our relationship who may have not realized it,” Crews told Page Six.
It’s an extremely common issue people face in relationships, Sussman told Insider, and perhaps even more during the pandemic: humans are wired for connection, and we all need more emotional support at the moment.
Jealousy is not always as obvious as Crews described. You may simply sense some other things, like passive aggression or canceling plans.
Sussman said there are steps you can take to deal with the situation without having to sacrifice your friendship or relationship.
What a jealous friend may look like
There are many behaviors that can be interpreted as jealousy.
A friend may make a dig at you or your relationship, Sussman told Insider.
A friend’s passive-aggressive comment or them not returning phone calls can also signal jealousy, Sussman said.
Tell your wingman right when you get in a relationship
If you’re in a new relationship, Sussman said it’s important to think about how it might affect your friends who you go out with, “wingman” for at bars, and share comradery with as singles.
“Sometimes you have a sense of who’s going to be happy for you and who might be a bit challenged by your good news,” Sussman said.
If you suspect a certain friend might be jealous, chat to them about your relationship and how you feel, Sussman said.
Tell them you’re excited about it getting to know this person and spending more time with them. At the same time, assure them that their friendship means a lot to you, and you don’t want this new romance to change anything.
Don’t accuse someone of being jealous
If a friend makes disrespectful comments about your partner, especially if they haven’t met them, ask what’s going on.
But don’t accuse them of being jealous — this will probably just lead to more conflict, Sussman said.
Rather than call your friend jealous, Sussman said to have a conversation about their specific behavior. If they said something disrespectful, bring up in the moment to ask what they mean.
Be selective about who you turn to when you face relationship problems
If you sense that your friend has an issue with your partner, think ahead before you vent. Do you think they will use this information against you or your partner?
In general, Winter says she advises people not to take friends’ advice when it comes to relationship obstacles.
Friends tend to be overprotective anyway — whether they are jealous or not. If they are jealous, they may over-exaggerate this one isolated conflict as a broader sign of trouble.
Reevaluate your friendship if a friend tries to sabotage your relationship
An extreme example of jealousy is when your friend tries to interfere with your relationship. “If they’re meddling and trying to break you up, they’re dangerous and not a real friend. In that case, you need to reassess your friendship,” Winter said.
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