“She likes me but started dating someone else. What should I do now? What did I do wrong?”
When on the road towards a long-term relationship anything can happen.
In an age when 40% of millennials have dated more than one person at the same time, it’s expected that a single woman’s attention is in a constant game of tug of war.
Nowadays you can never expect your romantic life to be static. Just because she’s dating you doesn’t mean she can’t also date someone else. Look, there are a lot of guys on Tinder and you’re just one of them.
I think we’re all grown up enough to admit that most of us have the emotional space to be interested in more than one person at the same time. Hell, some of us are even capable of loving multiple people simultaneously.
However, this capacity to juggle multiple romances can get us into some awkward situations.
The situation we’ll cover today is the one you finally realize you’re in when you tell your buddy that, “she likes me but started dating someone else.” Seeing as how singles have never had such a deep dating pool to swim in, it makes sense that they’re constantly jumping from one relationship to another. Let’s dig into what you can do if the woman you’re seeing starts dating other guys.
Signs She’s Dating Other Guys
The only way to ascertain for sure that she’s dating other guys is to flat out ask her. If this is a bit too awkward to broach at the moment, or if you want to give her space there are other ways. Here are five signs she’s dating other guys.
1. Erratic Communication
She’s always available on Fridays.
So you find it odd that when you hit her up on Wednesday to schedule your weekly Friday date she isn’t responding.
Have you noticed she’s been doing this more often lately? The fledgling routine you had begun to create is now losing steam. She used to take but a few minutes to answer you back, but now she’s taking hours or even days to hit you back.
Realize that you may not be the number one dude in her life anymore. Sure she likes you, but she also just started to date someone else. There are now multiple men competing for her attention.
I should note that while there’s a correlation between erratic communication and a new boy toy, one isn’t 100% the cause of the other. She’s living a life just as complex as yours. She could be going through something or be busy with things that are wholly unrelated to a new shiny boy being in her life.
So her communication has been off and you suspect she’s seeing other guys. I know it can be tough to swallow but you have to let her live her life. You and her didn’t have an explicit agreement that she couldn’t date other men.
Perhaps your expectations didn’t 100% align, but that’s not her fault that you didn’t vocalize your needs. Don’t assume that just because you went on a couple of dates with someone that you two are now exclusive. Need I remind you that 40% of millennials have dated multiple people at the same time?
Instead of freaking out, learn from what she’s doing.
MegaDating is the act of prolifically dating various women simultaneously. It’s kind of what she’s doing, but not exactly. Allow me to elaborate.
Ya see, singles choose to MegaDate because they’re tired of waiting to find the right woman for them. Instead of kicking back and waiting for love to knock on their door, they are proactive in their search. Prolific dating cuts down the time it takes in order to find someone worthy of calling your girlfriend.
So mirror her behavior, but be aware of the intent behind it. You’re not trying to get back at her, but rather are honing your dating skills and are figuring out what type of woman you like as you’re on the search for a meaningful long-term relationship.
2. You See Her On SM With Another Guy
This is a tough one.
Tough because it’s difficult to see and tough because you have no idea who that guy is. You may make the assumption that she’s started dating him, but have you got any proof?
Instead of snooping around in order to ascertain who the guy with his arm over her should is, let it go. Of course, this is much easier than done. As we’ve discussed, MegaDating is one way to take your mind off a woman that’s dating other guys. Yet there are other, easier shortcuts that also address the hurt you may feel.
Get Off SM
It’s quite a simple fix, though not everyone has the willpower to do it.
It’s fair to say that we’re all addicted to social media. The average American spends about 2 hours and 24 minutes a day on SM. The easiest way to take the knife she just stuck in your chest out is to log off of SM. Log off, cancel your profiles, block her, download a website limiting app, etc. Do what must be done to decrease the time you spend lurking on SM.
Keep in mind that this is a quick fix to address some of the pain you feel. It’s not a long term solution. To get to the root of the issue you’ll need to consider your relationship expectation and of course begin to MegaDate.
3. She’s Flaky
All women flake from time to time. The question is why. Liking you but just having started dating someone else is just one of a myriad of reasons why she has been out of commission these past couple weeks.
It’s also just as likely that she’s been ditching you for these reasons:
- She doesn’t feel safe around you
- The TDL was lame
- You took too long to heat things up
- You keep asking her out at bad times
- She hates vapid in-between date texting… which you love
- Bad date location
- She’s been super busy at work (you’re not the only one with a career)
So what do you do about it?
Straight Up Ask Her
The next time she rejects yet another date idea of yours, ask why.
A tactful way to ask would look something like this, “You seem to be super busy lately, no worries. I’ll give you your space and the next time you want to go out, I’ll let you ask me out. I’ve stoked to see what cool date idea you can conjure up.”
This shows her that you’re not mad, but also that you’re not going to be rejected yet again. Most likely she’ll be thrown off by this message and then reveal that she’s been busy for whatever reason. Even if she elaborates on why she’s been busy, don’t let her off the hook. Asking her to put some effort into creating an awesome date idea. Should she never respond, well then we know that the relationship is over.
To avoid a woman being flaky, always use a compelling TDL.
TDL stands for time, date, location, and it’s crucial when asking a woman out. Dudes that ask a woman, “to go out sometime” will never be rejected… but they’ll also never go on a date.
A high-quality TDL looks like this, “Hey Jane, want to chuck some axes at Bad Axe this Thursday night at 7 p.m.?”
It’s this date that requires her to accept or decline a concrete date idea. Not only this, but it’s an awesome freakin’ date idea.
4. She Doesn’t Want To Commit To Anything Serious
She isn’t there yet.
For whatever reason she isn’t ready to commit long term. Look if she’s dating a bunch of other dudes or even just one for quite a while, this may tell you everything you need to know. But it isn’t always that simple. Let’s not forget that she hasn’t given you the ax, but rather added another dude to her dating carousel.
It may be the case that she’s interested in an open relationship but is worried that you won’t approve. It’s also possible that she’s feeling out other dudes, and comparing you against them to figure out if you’re better or worse. Literally there are a bajillion reasons why she isn’t up for a committed relationship.
Play It Cool
It’s on you to play it cool. Ask her why she isn’t willing to commit but respect her answer.
Be ready to hear that you’re not the one, or that she just likes seeing other dudes in addition to you. Whatever reason she fires your way, maintain your cool, and listen to her.
If your expectations are far from aligning it might be best to cut ties sooner rather than later.
5. She Just Got Out Of A Long Term Relationship
She just invested possibly years into a relationship. Then it fell apart.
Imagine for a moment that the person you had spent every weekend with for the past few months or years just stepped out of your life. I’m sure you’d need a moment to compose yourself too. But what if it’s not as simple as this. What if she got out of the relationship but the man is still within her social orbit.
It’s difficult to leave a relationship you’ve invested so much time in. You can be the one that helps her see that there are other guys out there. She doesn’t need to fear being alone or not finding another man of merit. You’re here to demonstrate that if she has the courage to leave him, she’ll be rewarded.
Give her space while not backing down.
She may just need a little push to get out of her never-ending relationship. You could be the romantic prod she needs to never look back.
Keep on dating her, knowing all the while that she’s still seeing her ex. Don’t be insecure in your position. Know that she’s still dating you for a reason. There’s no need to try to persuade her to leave her dude with a 20-slide PowerPoint presentation.
Don’t explain yourself into the number one position, rather, keep taking her on awesome dates. Show her what it’s like to date an amazing man that won’t treat her like her ex did. Show her that she doesn’t need anyone else except the man that’ll be sitting across from her this Saturday night.
Call In The Experts
Who’s the expert?
I’m the expert.
When you team up with me -your own professional wingwoman- you’re enlisting a dating coach & matchmaker that has helped hundreds of dudes up their romantic game. It doesn’t quite matter why you need my help, I’ve seen and dealt with it all. Your exact situation has been remedied before through our 3-month program.
To get started, book a new client 1-on-1 Zoom session today.
When we team up to take on the dating scene, you’ll learn how to meet women both IRL and online, how to increase sexual tension, how to make her feel comfortable in your presence, and ultimately how to find a girlfriend.
As for the issue of her liking you but dating other guys, well, I’ve got you covered.
Book a session and let’s get to talking about how you can win or back or move on. Once you’re equipped with the romantic tools I’ll teach you, the choice becomes yours.
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