Matching with 1,000 men, yet none fit my standards – disappointingly wimpish and failing to meet my 8 simple criteria

SINGLE mum Claire Dee, 41, from Swansea, hasn’t been on a date since her month-long marriage ended in 2020.

The reason? The singer is waiting for Mr Perfect, she tells Claire Dunwell.

Claire has matched with more than 1,000 men over the past three years – but has yet to find anyone who ticks all her boxesCredit: Athena Picture Agency

THEY say that one in four relationships begins online and every evening I sit on my sofa and start my two-hour online scroll.

Plenty Of Fish, Tinder and Facebook Dating — I scour them all.

I’ve matched with more than 1,000 men over the past three years but I’m yet to find anyone who ticks all my boxes.

That’s because I have a long list of needs and I refuse to settle for anything less in my quest to find The One.

I want someone who will sweep me off my feet, love me unconditionally, always be a gentleman and pay for my drinks.

Is that really so much to ask?

I’m determined the next person I sleep with will be the final one.

I’m looking for a ring on my finger from a man with drive and ambition who wants to look after me in every way he can.

Physically I like a dad bod, I’m fairly chunky myself so it works better.

But they must be over 6ft because at 5ft 8ins, I’m tall too. And, I don’t like bald men.

While it suits a man with muscles, it looks boring on the rest.

I like a manly man, and if a guy doesn’t like rare steak and hot curries, then he’s probably too wimpy for me.

Conversely he can’t be into nights out with the lads or, even, worse, lads holidays — I must be their priority.

I have always had very high standards.

My first serious boyfriend was James (name changed) when I was 18. We met on a night out and on our first date he picked me up in a taxi, wined and dined me. I felt like a princess.

I adored him and thought I’d already found the man for me.

Only I had niggling doubts that he wasn’t as romantic as he seemed.

‘He wasn’t making the effort’

It felt sometimes that he was going through the motions and trying to please me rather than really meaning it.

I split up with him a few times to test him. I wanted to know if he was as in love with me as he said — I needed proof.

Claire has many rules when it comes to dating – and she wants to be treated like a queenCredit: Supplied

Claire with one of her exes where things ended up not working outCredit: Supplied

And, he’d woo me back with poetry and flowers, which I loved.

After 18 months we got engaged. It was New Year’s Eve and I was performing.

As I counted down to midnight he got on the stage and proposed. I said yes, and felt overwhelmed by his romance.

But I soon decided he needed another test and I split with him again.

After the grand proposal I felt he was taking me for granted and wasn’t making as much effort.

He’d warned me he wouldn’t put up with it again and he didn’t. I was heartbroken.

I was immature and it was a ridiculous way to behave but I believe in having one true love and if he’d been it we would still be together now.

After James I dated a few men, including a professional footballer. It was fun while it lasted – which was only a couple of months.

He was good at the grand gestures in ­public, like ordering the most expensive champagne, but in private it was TV and pizza.

The final straw came when we went to Paris and he didn’t hold my hand crossing the road.

It sounds trivial, but I want a ­gentleman who’ll open the doors and carry my bags without asking.

Next up was Dave (name changed). By then I was 24.

We dated on and off for four years but he was flawed too. He was a mummy’s boy — he even went on holiday with her instead of me — and he’d run back to her whenever we had a row.

Eventually, I told him if he did it again we were through. He did, so I finished it.

Mummy’s boys are not acceptable – they’re wimps.

Of course, you ought to love your mum, but your relationship with a partner should become your priority.

After that I dated casually, none of them lasting beyond two months.

It was during this time that I realised that, like the one in four Brits recently surveyed by single parent dating app Even, I didn’t want to date a man who had children.

Nor did I want to be among the one in ten who said they would feel less of a priority if a partner had kids already.

I tried it once when I was 31 and because he didn’t have set times to see his kids, he would change our plans to fit in with them.

I acknowledge that I’d be the same — I’m divorced and a single mum and my three-year-old daughter will always come first.

But one of us like that in a relationship is enough.

I also had one date with a widower who I met on Plenty Of Fish — that ended the moment he showed me pictures of his late wife.

She even looked like me, proof that he was clearly still in love with her.

I want to be someone’s “one” and I don’t feel I would be if they are widowed.

Divorced men are also out. Many are wary of women and commitment and if they truly loved their ex they tend to be bitter.

If they didn’t, they shouldn’t have got ­married in the first place, which means they’re the sort to settle.

I’m looking for marriage — women who have sex with men without a commitment are making a rod for all our backs.

One man who took me out for dinner called it a “waste of time” because I refused to go back to his place afterwards.

I felt so angry that he made me feel l owed him. It was nearly ten years before I got a message on Facebook from Adam (name changed), my now ex-husband.

I was 37 by then and I’d dated him briefly on one of my breaks from Dave.

We started chatting and he told me that he’d thought of me constantly since we’d broken up. I was swept off my feet.

‘A man has to be well off’

He was wealthy — to be with me, a man has to be well off as I like the finer things in life — and we went on wonderful dates.

He’d take me to five star hotels in London and to the theatre.

I’d never go out with a man who expects me to pay.

Adam hadn’t been married or had kids before, but he wanted both — boxes I needed ticked for me to consider a relationship.

He proposed with an expensive ring in November 2019 and we started trying for a baby.

I was a few weeks pregnant with my daughter when we married in Scotland.

But just a little time later he broke the devastating news that he didn’t think he wanted to be a father after all.

I haven’t seen him since.

For a while I lost hope that I’d ever find the man for me but if anything, my divorce made me more determined not to compromise.

My mum Jane (name changed), 65, tells me I’m too fussy. But she has what I want.

Part of my desire to find my soulmate is witnessing my parents’ wonderful ­marriage.

They met at a disco when my mum was 14 and my dad was 16. Fifty years on they’re still besotted.

They finish each other’s sentences and still go away for romantic weekends.

My friends tell me I should settle, that I’m 41 and don’t have the same pulling power I once did.

I disagree, and while my search goes on I’ll carry on refusing to be that woman who puts up with second best.

That’s simply unthinkable.