DEAR DEIDRE: MY new neighbour offered me a “freebie” with her “sex machine” partner after I told her my husband is a let-down in bed.
The walls between our homes are paper-thin so I already knew from the noises I hear they are satisfied in bed together.
At first I thought it was an outrageous idea but I’m starting to yearn for his touch
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All four of us are around 50.
When I met my husband in our twenties, working on a cruise ship, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
But time changed us. With two kids, three house moves and full-on families, we were lucky if sex happened once a week.
Over lockdown, my husband gained a lot of weight. Now he’s almost 17st, which has taken a toll on his health and our sex life.
If he can get an erection, which is rare, he only lasts a matter of minutes.
I reluctantly accepted the physical side of our relationship going down-hill but listening to our neighbours most nights makes me miss the intimacy we once had.
A few weeks ago, I bumped into my neighbour’s wife at the garden centre. We agreed to go for coffee and got talking about how thin the walls were. We had a good laugh.
She gushed about her husband’s “talents” but when I admitted how disappointing my sex life is, she looked genuinely upset for me.
As we walked back to the house, she blurted it out: “I want you to experience him — what it’s like to really go for it. I promise you won’t regret it.”
I was speechless. At first I thought it was an outrageous idea but as the days go on, I’m starting to yearn for his touch.
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I could just do it once and my husband wouldn’t have to know.
Is this such a bad idea?
DEIDRE SAYS: Yes – and I suspect you don’t need me to confirm that.
These things always have a habit of coming out and as you live next door, there is an even higher chance of that happening. And who is to say you would be able to stop after one night?
The best thing to do is to have an honest conversation with your husband.
Explain you are not satisfied and recommend he sees a doctor about his erection problems so they can check there is no underlying condition.
Support him in losing some weight – exercising together, perhaps, and making healthy food choices as a couple.
I am sending you my support pack Fed Up With Quickies? which has some tips on how to make sex last longer.
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