DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I agreed to a foursome of two blokes and two girls, I thought I’d be living the dream. But now I just feel small.
A few week ago, my girlfriend and me had mates round to celebrate our new flat.
I heard my girlfriend gasp when she saw the other guy’s penis: “Wow, impressive!”
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She’s 26, I’m 28 and we’ve been together for five years.
A few hours into the evening, I headed into the kitchen to grab a beer. In the corner, my girlfriend and her best friend were giggling.
When I asked them what they were talking about, they said they wanted a foursome with me and the friend’s boyfriend.
I agreed. My friends and I had always joked about how we’d love to tick a threesome off the bucket list.
I thought I would be stupid to turn down the opportunity.
Later we headed into the bedroom and started kissing and undressing one another. It was a massive turn-on watching my girlfriend kiss her best friend.
Everything was fine until I heard my girlfriend gasp when she saw the other guy’s penis.
She exclaimed: “Wow, that’s impressive!” I was mortified.
Though she hadn’t called mine small, her reaction suggested to our friends that it was.
I zipped up my jeans, grabbed my top and left the room. My girlfriend came running after me.
When I told her she had embarrassed me, she said: “Oh my God, you’re being ridiculous.”
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We didn’t speak for the rest of the night and haven’t touched each other since. And I can’t stop thinking about her reaction.
No woman has ever told me I’m smaller than average. But maybe I am.
DEIDRE SAYS: Welcoming a third (and fourth) person into your bedroom might sound exciting but I am afraid I only hear from those who get hurt in the process.
Introducing someone new into your relationship means insecurities and jealousy can come into play.
If it is going to work, every single encounter needs to be discussed thoroughly.
What are your expectations and your red lines? At a minimum, you both need to be emotionally secure.
I rarely receive messages from people complaining their partner’s penis is too small. The important thing is how considerate a lover you are.
Alcohol was involved that night and your girlfriend probably reacted without thinking. Talk to her about how that night made you feel and ask for reassurance.
I am sending you my support packs Raising Self-Esteem and 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex.
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