BEING a new parent is stressful enough, let alone in a pandemic.
It can be hard to keep the flames of passion burning when you barely have time to breathe.
Sun Sexpert and mum-of-one Georgie says her sex life suffered after having a babyCredit: Olivia West
Georgie says a good sex life keeps couples happy in and out of the bedroomCredit: Olivia West
Our son is 22 months old and we love him to the moon and back but toddlers are hard work – and knackering.
It’s easy to neglect your sex life and relationship when you’ve got a little one to look after.
When my partner Ben and I first met we were having sex six times a day (at least) but after having a baby we were lucky if got it once a week.
Like Billie Connelly in the raunchy Netflix series Sex/Life, I’d often find myself fantasising about my former carefree days, what normal mum doesn’t?
So I decided to channel my inner Billie and recreate those experiences to spice things up between us.
I wrote a sex bucket list of everything I wanted to do and shared it with Ben.
First on the list was role play – a sexy one night stand with a stranger to be specific.
As we both normally WFH, we spent the day apart to build some tension and excitement between us and arranged to meet at night in a posh bar.
I wore a sexy LBD and he donned a suit. Once inside, we pretended we didn’t know each other and watched the other one work the room from afar.
Research shows seeing how desirable your partner is can remind you of what first attracted you to them and it really worked for us.
Seeing each other out of our parenting roles and getting chatted up by the opposite sex reminded us of why the other one was a catch and what first attracted us to them.
After an hour Ben sat next to me and reeled out some cheesy chat up lines before we enjoyed a few flirty drinks together. Afterwards, we went back to a hotel for a dirty one night stand.
We made it a night to remember and laughed a lot too. Studies show couples who have fun together and more likely to stay together, so it’s important to do silly things which make you giggle.
Alfresco sex was next on our list, something I used to love in my younger, carefree days.
We drove to a remote spot in the country and enjoyed a naughty quickie in our car. Knowing we could get caught any minute added to the excitement and really revved up my sex drive.
We went on a sexcation, the adult environment reignited our passion
Georgette Culley, Sun Sexpert
We also went on a sexcation – our first getaway without our son.
Feeling connected is vital in this climax (sorry climate) a new, sexy environment helped reignite our passion.
Excited, we dropped our son off at his grandparents and checked into Mama London who recently launched a sexcation package.
Closing the door on our worries, we enjoyed bubbles in bed and the complimentary ‘sexy mamma’ box which was packed with adult toys and saucy movies.
I surprised my partner with some new sexy lingerie and felt like a million dollars in them.
Like most mums, I’m lucky if I have time to dress myself in the morning – let alone wearing fancy undies so it was as much a treat for me as it was for him.
Half of UK women attribute feeling sexy to lingerie – meaning we are more likely to fulfil our desires if we look – and feel – the part.
After all that action we decided to slow things down a bit.
Tantra helps couples reconnect emotionally and improves sexual satisfaction as the exercises encourage us to resist having an orgasm so when we do eventually climax, it’s more intense and lasts longer.
As it removes the pressure to perform, the more you practise the better sex will become. What’s not to love?
We tried an online workshop which told us to get naked, lie next to one another and synchronise our breathing.
Stifling laughter we followed the teacher’s instructions and slowly moved our hands around each other’s bodies.
The first session lasted an hour and then after that we practised for ten minutes a day. After a few weeks we felt closer, in and out of the bedroom.
We also started to flirt with one another again. It’s easy to lose the playfulness in your relationship after having a baby because you’re tired and constantly snapping at each other.
But we tried to spice things up by teasing each other throughout the day by sending sexts outlining what we were going to do to each other later.
As we both WFH, we did it from different rooms in the house to add to the excitement.
Sexting is a brilliant way to keep passion alive in long-term relationships and over 32 percent of people in committed relationships still send saucy messages to each other.
After a few months – with a little bit of effort on both sides (and some creativity) – our sex life improved and now we can’t keep our hands off each other.
The sex bucket list brought us closer together and made us make the most of stolen moments together.
My sex bucket list brought us closer together – in and out of the bedroom
Georgette Culley, Sun Sexpert
If you’ve fallen into the comfortable stage of lounging around in your dressing gowns and watching endless boxsets together then you need to take urgent action.
Remember your partner is your lover, not your roommate so don’t neglect them in the bedroom as it will affect your relationship out of it too.
Research shows stress is one of the biggest passion killersCredit: Getty
Georgette says parents need to think creatively to keep their sex life activeCredit: Getty
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