WHEN it comes to children crying, most parents’ natural instinct is to immediately ask them to stop – after all, it can be frustrating.
However, according to an expert, while this might solve the issue for the moment, telling your child to stop the tears is extremely harmful in the long run.
According to this coach, there are two types of responses – helpful and unhelpfulCredit: tiktoK/@psyko_therapy
The coach, @psyko_therapy, shared the video on TikTok, where she has almost 585 thousand followers.
According to her, responses such as ”it’s okay”, ”you’re okay” and ”it’s just blood” are unhelpful tactics which will impact your offspring’s ability to deal with emotions later on in life.
Instead of these, she added, it’s better to say ”it’s okay to cry” and ”its very scary to see blood”, for example.
”We do our kids a disservice when we tell them that they’re expected to control their feelings,” she explained.
”Of course they’re upset – they fall, their knee hurts and now they see blood.
”They can’t control whether that hurts or whether there’s blood or not – and that’s scary.”
The expert added that if a parent uses the ”unhelpful” phrases on a consistent basis, the child will begin to doubt his perception and feelings.
Over time, according to her, this will even send children a message that ”they’re an inconvenience to themselves and others”.
”Feelings happen to us and our kids need our help and support managing and regulating them.
”We can’t control our feelings, so why try?”
One parent agreed and wrote: ”I switched to this style in June and found it takes less time for the kiddos to relax.
”My number one piece of advise is VALIDATE!”
Another added: ”In minor emergency stand by them, acknowledge their feelings.
”If wanted give hug a/o cold damp cloth.
”Ask was it the scare or the pain, it helps them.”
Someone else thought: ”The “unhelpful parent” could also be doing a thing called “tough love”.”
In other parenting news, a nursery founder has revealed what they really think about kids’ different packed lunches – and what they think it says about parenting styles.
Plus, an expert shares the eight signs you’re being too strict on your kids.
Meanwhile, weary mums have realised they can set their phones to wake them up when their baby cries, and it’s a total game changer.
She explained that saying ”it’s okay” when the child has hurt himself will only make him question his feelings in the futureCredit: tiktoK/@psyko_therapy
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